It's no secret,
I have written about being sexually assaulted as a teenager. I have also shared through writing about my struggle with depression. Over the years, I had opportunities to speak and share with others about my struggles and triumph with depression. I was able to have open and honest conversations with others publicly about mental health wellness. Being able to speak openly and honestly gave me a sense of freedom. I felt freedom in taking off the mask of shame and just living in my truth. I experienced such victory and healing in my life by taking off the stigma of mental illness. I have gained a greater self awareness, confidence and growth by being open and honest. I feel like I am winning in this area of my life. Am I perfect? No, not by any means but I believe that my willingness to take accountability for my truth helps in the growth process. I am willing to work on me and because of that I feel like I am "crushing" it!
Well, let's talk about the other side of the coin, which is the sexual assault. This area of my life has been hard to talk about. Although, I no longer harbored the pain associated with the sexual assault but it has been hard for me to talk about it. I just could not understand why I found it so hard to talk about it openly just like I have done about depression. I've written about it, but it felt like a totally different thing to speak about it. This was a struggle for me, but I didn't think too much about it. I could not have predicted what would happen next. Well, out of no where I was invited to be the keynote speaker at a "Take Back The Night" event at Caldwell University. After learning about this amazing movement to bring awareness to sexual assault and domestic violence, I knew I had to be a part of it. I have found that stepping out of my comfort zone has helped me to heal and grow. Speaking about the sexual assault in detail in front of audience was way outside of my comfort zone. I committed to being the keynote speaker at the "Take Back The Night" event anyway. I am a fighter and I am always looking for ways to change the stagnant areas of my life. I had a month and a half to prepare my speech and presentation for this very important event. I was fighting through my nerves and trying to stay on task. I made it through and completed my outline, speech and presentation, I submitted it to the coordinators of the event and waited for their approval. Shortly, there after I got the approval I was waiting for. There was only one thing left to do, make my presentation in front of an audience.
PRACTICE! PRACTICE! PRACTICE! PRACTICE!
I was a little anxious talking about something so personal, and I knew that I would have to share some details about the sexual assault. I needed to practice to make sure that I was ready to do my
best. I also decided to do fasting and prayer to help gain focus on the message that I wanted to convey. I was as ready as I could be, it was time to speak at my alma mater. A few days before my speaking engagement I tripped and fell down the stairs and injured my knees, but I was not going to allow this to keep me from this life changing opportunity.
April 11, 2019 was finally here! The big day that I had been waiting for. The drive on the way to Caldwell University was very reminiscent of my undergraduate days over 15 years ago. I was going down memory lane every step of the way. The school campus is much bigger now, new building structures but the feel is very much the same. Upon entering the campus I felt like I came home again. I was greeted by the coordinators of the event and it was a thrill to see familiar faces. I took a few moments to go over my speech and gather my thoughts before the event started. The "Take Back The Night" event took place outside in the Newman courtyard, the podium and stage was set and ready to go. The crowd formed to take part in this important event and it was finally time. The event began and I was ready to speak and tell my story. I was introduced when it was my turn to speak. I took a deep breath and I was ready to share my presentation. As I began to share my story I felt a release with every word that I spoke. All of the fear that I felt was slowly disappearing into just a memory. When I was finished with my presentation it was well received by the audience. I appreciate all of the hugs, compliments and well wishes, all of the support melted my heart. I was proud of myself for having the courage to share my story. I must also mention that no one even knew that I had two big bandage on my knees, and the physical pain that I was going through. As I said before "I am a fighter"
 |
I did it!
|
I will continue to be accountable for myself and grow. Whatever goals you want to accomplish, you can do it. There is success outside of your comfort zone. Wishing you good health and happiness.
- Cassie
