How To Survive The Drought!

 Honestly, 

We have all been there, we have all been in seasons of life where we felt like we were in a severe drought. I personally have experienced drought in my life. I know how frustrating and hopeless it can feel when I am in a season of drought. Going through a drought is an uncomfortable place to be in, and sometimes a lonely place to be in. As uncomfortable as it is there is no quick fix when going through a drought. The drought can accomplish two things, I can find strength in it or I can succumb to it.

During my seasons of drought I really found out what I was made of, it test me and stretch me like I could never had imagined. There were moments that I thought I would give up and give into defeat. I am so happy I did not give up on myself and my situation, because over time I got through it. I was able to achieve healing in my life, and that is always the marker I use for other situations in my life. I keep telling myself, that if I got through that I can make it through my current situation. I learned that there is going to be sporadic seasons of drought in life, when one situation is solved another situation may arise. I know I have said this before but I will say it again, life is not a destination it is a journey. 

I hate to go through seasons of drought, the waiting, the pondering and the desperation can be deafening. Everyone has needs and desires, that is apart of life. I am learning the lessons I need to grow, I am being stretched and I'm gaining strength from it all. This year has been a lot on all of us, some more than others. I  hope that you too may continue to stretch and build strength along your journey.

 PLEASE ENJOY MY LAST BLOG OF 2020, MY BLOG WILL RETURN IN THE NEW YEAR 2021!!!!!!!!!

Knowing How To Deal With Stress

 Life is filled with stressful and uncomfortable situations, so why not learn to navigate through these stressful times. Life is filled with real pressure and stresses and it is never ending especially in this pandemic. 

As I am writing this blog, I am listening to gospel music and meditating on my faith. Whatever it takes for me to reach my calm place. There are times that I have to reach in my bag of tools, and take out something that will help me get through the stresses of life. Today, I need spiritual therapy and so praise & worship music is just what the doctor ordered for me. I am also cuddled up with my animal friend, so I am also getting some animal therapy. It's one of those days, but I am using some of the tools I have to get through this tough time. 

We all have stress triggers and I am no different. Stress triggers can be people, things or situations that trigger stress. I know what my stress triggers are and so I am doing my best to push through it. The best way I push through stressful time is to use positive tools to get through this difficult time. I must always take accountability for myself, I take accountability by adopting positive habits and asking for help if I need it.

Stress Triggers may not be totally avoidable, but I can practice self care by refocusing on positive coping skills. Stress management for me is a journey and not a destination, it is something that has to be practiced and applied daily. I hope that you too know what your stress triggers are and are managing it well. Wishing you good health and happiness always!

Full Transparency!

I would like to share a blog post that I wrote for my parenting blog. This blog also applies to individuals or parents and so it's fitting that I share this today. Happy Reading!!

 Like any mom out there, it is a lot going on. There are ups, downs and everything in between. I share a lot on my blogs about it all. Even though I am here to be transparent and open, some things are too fragile and delicate to share on my blog. At least for now, some things are too fresh and new to share at the current moment. You know what I am talking about! I am talking about those secret battles that very few people know about. I think we all have those secret battles as individuals and as parents. 

I too am no different. At times my peers can be of great help to me, and then there is a time where I have to call in for reinforcements. I am no stranger to therapy, I think it takes strength and courage to ask for help. A professional bring another view of the situation and can help with getting through those secret battles. There is no shame in my game! 😀 

This year has tested me in so many ways, actually the last two years if I am being honest. During these testing moments, I have also learned to speak up more and ask for help. I have always been the type to struggle alone, this proved to be a difficult road. In the last two years I have been speaking up and reaching out to professionals for help. I am learning that life is to be lived and self care is important to my well being and to my family's well being. Life is a journey and not a race or a competition. I am growing, learning and progressing. 

I must also mention that I have had a lot of blessings this year also. That lead me to the thought that life is colorful, filled with happiness, success, failure and loss. However, all of it makes me who I am. I learn from it all, there is no need for me to give into "dooms day thoughts". Just because something isn't alright today, does not mean it will be that way forever. Life is unpredictable, but I am counting it all joy. If It's not alright today, maybe tomorrow will be a better day. If you are not alright today, it does not mean that things will always be like this. Wishing you good health and happiness and a great day. 

Looking Across The Table At An Empty Chair On Thanksgiving

 

You may be looking across the table this Thanksgiving at an "empty chair" that use to belong to a loved one. This year maybe even more difficult because of the pandemic that we are in. It's alright to miss our loved ones, it's alright to wish that they were right there with you. Maybe your loved one has passed away or maybe you are unable to meet up this year because of the pandemic. Whatever, the reason I empathize with you. I too know what it is like to lose a loved one, it is not an easy thing to navigate through especially during the pandemic. 

I too have lost my grandmother, I was close to my grandmother. I learned a lot from her and I had a lot of special moments with her. One of my favorite memories growing up was her giving me candy from her purse. He purse always had candy in it, I thought that her purse had a endless supply of candy. In her purse she had lemon drops, peppermint, butterscotch and root beer candy. My favorite was lemon drops, I couldn't get enough of it. My second favorite candy was butterscotch, then peppermint. My grandmother always made sure to have a purse full of candy for all her grandchildren. She always made us feel special with whatever she did. I miss the theatrics of getting the candy from her purse, but most of all I miss her. I miss her hugs, I miss the way she would line her grandchildren up and introduce us to her friends. I miss everything about my loving grandmother. 

I know that you also have a special memories of your loved one, even though our loved ones are not with us they are inside of us. The memories lives on in us everyday, on this Thanksgiving you may be apart but still together in spirit. If you are away in distance, give your loved one a phone call, if your loved one has passed on may the memories of your loved ones give you warmth this season. Wishing you good health and happiness.

Perfection Does Not Exist

 Let's put a dent in that word perfection right now!

Perfection simply does not exist, I find my self sometimes looking and waiting for the perfect situation. The truth is that the perfect situation does not exist. There is solace in knowing that everything will work out the way it's suppose to be and at the end of the day. I have spent so much time looking for the perfect situation, the perfect timing and the perfect opportunity. Life does not happen on my timing and sometimes that is a hard pill to digest. I live in a microwavable society, where everything has to happen right here and right now. It's even more prevalent now because of social media, everyone wants to paint the perfect picture to make it look like everything happens overnight. It's all just a fantasy, things aren't perfect plain and simple. Let me give you an example. I can think back to a couple years ago, I moved into my new home. It was around Christmas time, I put up my Christmas tree and had the gifts neatly laid out and I snapped a picture to celebrate the moment. I then posted that same picture on social media, everyone commented how beautiful everything was. What they did not know is that the rest of my house was a wreck with boxes everywhere. On top of that I was tired and hungry. What I had done was cleared out the best corner in my home but the fireplace to put my Christmas decorations, from the picture no one could know that. 

I say all this to prove, that perfection does not exist. What I thought were perfect situations and opportunities were not. Every good thing have it's own challenges, even though there will be push backs in life it does not mean that it is the end of the world. The search for a perfect situation simply does not exist, Even when I encounter something good there is always a challenge that arises. Life is truly a journey and not a destination. What do I mean by this? There is not an arrival or destination point where perfection is. Happiness and contentment is something to strive for daily, it does not exist in a particular destination. 

I am learning about life and I am able to be introspective and learn life lessons. Also Learning from my mistakes is important.There is no perfect person or situation, I am here to learn and grow; In the process hopefully leave some sort of legacy for my family. Perfection does not exist,  and so I will not give myself a headache trying to figure it out. I am learning as I go and doing the best that I can, that is all I can commit to. 

Peace Comes From Within

 Peace is priceless!!!

I have been in search of peace for a long time, and In recent years I realized that peace came from within. 

The moments when I could not achieve peace in my life, was the toughest time of my life. I was so focused on my hurt and pain, I could not see anything else. I was so consumed by the hurt that I felt like my life was going up into flames. The hurt and pain was a lie and it kept me from seeing the value in my life. Peace is achievable but I needed to see pass the pain, I needed to see the truth. 

The truth is that, I am not my circumstance, and I am not my hurt. I allowed my hurt to become my identity until I could see nothing else but my hurt. I eventually got lost in hopelessness, hopelessness is like hitting rock bottom. It was only one way to get out of rock bottom and that was to find the value in my life and pursue it. Healing is not easy but it is possible, even though it may be hard. Healing takes work but it is worthwhile. 

Healing really does bring peace, peace is priceless and I am glad to have it in my life. Life is not perfect and there are ups and downs. However, as long as I am walking forward towards healing I know that I will achieve peace in my life. There is no one size fits all when it comes to healing, everyone must walk their own path. Seeking out healing is a honorable path, one day at a time. 

Wishing you good health and happiness, and may you find peace in your journey. 

Starting Something New Is Scary

Starting something new is so scary, especially during these uncertain times. The pandemic does not make anything easier. I can't believe that I am going to start something new in the middle of a pandemic, but ready or not here I go. 

I have to admit that over the years I have felt like I was complacent, I was looking to progress and do something new. I certainly never expected that this would happen during a global pandemic. However, I am thrilled to start a new opportunity, this is the break that I've been waiting for. Any opportunity that helps me to grow and expand my knowledge I am all for it. 

Change is scary and I am somewhat nervous to be starting something new and unfamiliar, but I know that great things can happen when I leave my comfort zone. A little bit of nerves is good It just means that I care, anything worth while is worth going after. At the end of the day, I know that opportunities don't come to hurt me, but it comes to help me grow. I am taking a leap of faith to see where this new business venture will lead me. 

If you too are thinking about embarking on something new, I hope that it works out for you. Starting something new is scary, but if it help you to grow and progress in your life it is worth it. 

How Do You Get Through Your Anxiety?

 It easy to get caught up in the whirl wind of anxiety, especially during this never ending global pandemic that we are in. For me I a just talking thing one day at a time and push through my anxiety.

I have lived a colorful life, that is the best way that I can describe my hardships. I have always struggled with anxiety coupled with depression. Although, the depression symptoms no long exist, I still struggle with anxiety. I am fighting my way through anxiety with the tools I have. 

I do breathing exercise to center my thoughts and bring a sense of peace and calmness. I also listen to music, gospel, pop and other music. Whatever I am into for that moment that is the type of music that I listen to. As a believer, prayer and fasting is also something that helps my anxiety. Lastly, pushing myself outside my box helps me, I do what I am afraid to do. Facing my fear directly, help me to get through my anxiety. This is not easy to do, but my hunger for growth and progress in my life is the catalyst. I have a need to face my fears no matter how hard or scary it is. I recently started a scary journey of starting a you tube channel, this is yet another example of me doing something outside my comfort zone. I am determined to achieve wellness in my life, and I must achieve this by fighting through my anxiety. These are the tools that works for me, I am curious to know how do you manage your anxiety. Feel free to share your wellness journey.

Staying Positive When All Else Seem To Be Going Wrong.

How Can I Stay Positive When Everything I Going Wrong?

Life is so unexpected and change is unavoidable. Life circumstances are always forcing us to change and grow. Change isn't easy and navigating through life's challenges aren't easy. At time is feel like it's impossible to get through the difficult times. Impossible is a strong word, but that's what many situations feel like. Although, something may seem impossible I think that impossible is too strong of a word to give in to. Impossibility, feels like giving up to me and there are times that I do feel like giving up but I have to remind myself that there is always hope. I have faced many situations that I felt was impossible, and where are those situations now? I got through those impossible situations which is proof that no situation is impossible. Every situation cannot be solved but I believe that for every situation there is some sort of resolution. What that resolution will be, no one really knows, but there will be resolve and peace in the end.  

I talk a lot about thinking positive and always having hope in situations. I do this mainly to encourage myself because I know all too well the pressures of life. Living through abuse, battling depression & anxiety, loosing my beloved grandmother and the struggles of being a stay at home mom. There is no end to the list of hardships of life, the list goes on. I try my best to keep convincing myself everything is going to be alright. The truth, is that it is going to be alright as long as I don't give up on myself. 

I Choose Me!

I choose not to give up on myself because I want to be the best me that I can be. That does not mean that I am going to be perfect, I an far from perfect. Perfection is not my goal, I want to be happy and healthy. Everyone deserves to be happy and healthy. Happiness and good health is not a destination, but it is a daily walk. I will continue to choose myself on this daily walk, I hope that you too find good health and happiness in your journey. 

Has 2020 Got You Down?

 

2020, shocked us all no one could predict what would happen.

This year has been hard for us as a country and as a global community. We are all doing our best to rise above this global pandemic. This Corona virus outbreak has been around for almost a year, and we have no idea on when this virus will disappear. Our daily routines have changed, our complete lives has changed overnight. It's been a whirlwind of events unfolding this year. 

Many people have lost loved ones this year, it has been a difficult year for sure. Never the less, we are still here and life goes on. We are all trying our best, to have positive thoughts and pick up the pieces of heartbreak. Life does have heartbreaks but we are all doing our best to get through it.

As we pick up the pieces together, let us show compassion towards one another. Also, let us show gratitude for the life we have. 

Teach People How To Treat You

 Believe it or not we set a president for how we want to be treated in our relationships.

Whatever we accept and allow others to do to us, will set a president for what will continue to happen. People are creatures of habit, and we can become accustomed to habits very quickly. This is both good and bad like anything else. 

Let me share my story,

I know what it's like to allow people to treat me badly, and that put my life in peril. Giving someone that much control over my life put me in years of unhappiness. I would ask myself why is this happening to me? I was feeling defeated and abused. It took some years for me to learn that no one had the right to treat me badly. In my healing process, I realized my self worth and gained a healthy self-esteem. However, this was only half the battle. I could not go back to the people and situations that broke me. In doing so I set clear boundaries and no longer accept the negative behaviors that broke me. The power belongs to me and it always has, the only way that I can lose my power is if I give it away or allow it to be taken away. 

It is never alright for someone to take away your power. Your physical, emotional, spiritual and overall health matters. It is your right to be happy, safe and healthy, that power belongs to you. At the end of the day, It's your responsibility to teach people hoe to treat you. 

HOW DO YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF WHILE TAKING CARE OF A LOVED ONE?

There are times when it feels like a balancing act, taking care of a loved one while practicing self care at the same time. Sometimes it's a hard balancing act to keep up with, and on other days things are easier. Most of us are caregivers, being a caregiver does not mean that we don't have our own needs. We have our own needs and desires but we rise to the challenge to help others while battling our own hardships. Being a caregiver is not to be taken lightly, it is a selfless and honorable act. 

Some of you may be a parent caring for a child, caring for a elderly person or caring for a family member. Whatever the task at hand, you can pat yourself on the back because you are doing the best that you can. Taking care of the needs of another person is a very serious commitment. Everything has to be carefully considered before making every decision for someone else's life. It is a serious responsibility and it is hard to handle at times, but it is an act of love. 

We so generously give to others, it is a good thing to be generous to ourselves as well. We cannot forget to give love to ourselves. We are worth the same love that we give to others. The love and nurture that we give to others, we have to remember to give that same thing to ourselves. We can be great caregivers and practice self care at the same time.

The balancing act isn't easy, but a caregiver's health and happiness matters. Taking time for ourselves is not selfish but it is a act of self love. I hope that in the midst of caring for our loved ones that we find time to care for ourselves. We are worth it! 

Are You Looking Forward To The Holidays?

 It's only September, but already the weather is getting colder; at least here in New Jersey it is. October is upon us and when it arrives the holidays seem to roll in one after the other. With the corona virus still among us, this holiday will be different than any other. The holidays is already a busy and rough time for many people, adding a pandemic further complicate things. 

I plan to lay low this Thanksgiving, I will probably stay at home with my immediate family or maybe I will invite a few close family members over to my home. I am undecided, I am watching to see how the corona virus develops this winter. Whatever, I do I want to be safe doing it. Even though there are serious things happening in the world, I don't want it to take away the joy of the holidays. 

In just 5 short months it will be a year since the corona virus has been among us here in the United States. It's hard to believe that it's been that long. The year 2020 has proven itself to be very unpredictable. This year has been filled with surprises and difficulties, but what remains true is that we are a people of great strength and resilience. I'm sure that I speak for many when I say that, I wish I could wake up one day to the news that this pandemic has ended. I still remain hopeful that one day this pandemic will be a distant memory. Although, we will always respect and honor those who lost their precious lives in this global catastrophic event. Despite this, life goes on and we can persevere through this. 

Whatever your holidays plans are, I hope that it's a great one. I hope that you have a safe and joyous holiday season. 

Living The Masked Life

 Our new favorite accessory is a mask, wearing a mask everywhere has become the new normal. Wearing a mask has become so necessary because of the invisible virus that is lurking among us. Sometimes I look around and see a sea of people wearing masks and I am in disbelief that this is our new reality. I also find myself slow to go to the usual places that I usually go. I am cautious and take every precaution to make sure these places are safe before I go there.

Getting My Feet Wet

Restaurants have just begun to open for in door dinning, and my family and I decided to test is out. We went to a local chain restaurant and we had a very pleasant and safe experience. We are slowly trying different activities that will help us to live somewhat of a normal life. My family and I have plans to venture out and try other safe activities as other business are opening up to serve their customers. 

Mask Up And Be Safe

It maybe unusual to wear a mask everywhere, but we are living in a changing world. I want to be healthy and to also keep others safe. I am doing my part and I know that others are too. I see people being creative making their own masks. The creative masks has become apart of our personality, why not have fun while protecting ourselves. Whether our masks are store bought or hand made, it is a joy to be able to show our personality through a mask. We are in this together and we will get through this pandemic together. 

Don't Look At Their Results

 Being in a rush only causes anxiety!

Don't look at someone else's results or progress and feel bad about yourself that you are not there yet. 

Everything takes time, there is no need to rush something before its time. I am learning and relearning everyday to run in my own race and not rush things. Practice is the exercise of perfecting my craft, over time the baby steps will yelled big results. Your time and your season will come, keep going at your pace.

My Season Will Never Pass You By

I strongly believe that whatever is for me is for me, it will never be given to someone else. There is no need to worry because my future is safe and secure. It's never too late and I am never too old as long as I keep giving my best effort I will get where I need to be. It's the same for you, keep believing and keep going working at your goals. 

Finding Time For Self-Care

In these a few weeks I have struggled with finding time for self care. With my children being home full time is has been hard to find time for myself. It was hard enough before the pandemic, the pandemic has just increased the business of household life. Before the pandemic the time I spend at the gym after school drop offs were priceless. I would sit down in the massage chair at the gym and relax before beginning my workout routine. The fun didn't stop there, I would put on my headphones and turn on my favorite tunes and sing along during my workout. Oh how I miss those days.

The Struggle Is Real!!

Although, I have a treadmill at home, I can't seem to find the time to workout. When I do get the chance to hop on the treadmill, it just does not feel the same as the freedom of the gym. I seem to get bored very quickly. I am trying to develop a new routine at home but it's so hard. 

Finding A New Normal

I know that I will get bored easily just walking on the boring treadmill, I am thinking of switching things up on a daily basis to have a variety of ways to practice self care. Wish me luck as I go on my journey of trying to find the new normal in these pandemic times. Be safe, and wishing you all good health and happiness. 

Be Patient With Yourself!

I get very impatient with myself sometimes, and I can also be hard on myself. 

Staying Focused

It's hard to stay focused on my goals when I feel like things are happening too slow. I start to ask myself "what's is the point of all this" Have you asked yourself this very question?

Don't worry you will reach your goals. We have pondered the disappointments that life presents. However, this is not the end and "baby steps" really does give big results. I  have looked at the success of certain athletes and business people. After listening to their story about success they all have one thing in common. Time and time again I hear them say to take baby steps, start out small and build from that, most importantly to never give up. I have to remind myself that it's alright to start off small, there is no shame in that. Everyone has to start somewhere, practicing my craft are just baby steps that will prepare me for something bigger. When I am tempted to get impatient with myself, I will remember to trust the process. 

Whatever you are going through, remember to trust the process and you will reach your goal. 

Not Everyone Deserves Access To Your Life

It's your life do what is comfortable for you!

Living in the social media age is tough, it feels like all eyes are on me at all times. 

Social media is NOT the enemy, it is good for a lot of things like connecting with friends and family. Also, there are a lot of helpful information that can be learned from social media. The down fall of it is that people can become intrusive, this can also happen in everyday life not just on social media. 

I tend to pick and choose what I post lately. People can become intrusive instead of just taking a post for what it is. I draw the line at a person being intrusive to the point of asking very personal questions. 

I don't know why this has become the culture of social media, there are people who feel like it's their right to know every detail of a person's life.

Protecting Your Space

It is your right to protect your space so that you can feel safe.

Share what you feel comfortable sharing and keep the rest personal. It is never someone else's right to have access to your life, You have a right to choose who has access to your life. There are few people in my life that I feel comfortable talking to about very personal things, while with others I filter what I say. There is a different level of trust that I have with different people. I know who deserves full access and who deserves limited access. This is how I keep peace in my life, because not everyone deserves full access to me. This has brought me a lot of healing and confidence. Boundaries are healthy and necessary for growth and wellness. 

Talking About Mental Illness

Talking about mental illness should be easy as talking about any other illness. Often times with mental illness people are reluctant to go to a medical professional. This is because mental illness still carries a stigma, and we are all afraid of being stigmatized. I have been there and so I am no stranger to this. 

Breaking Free Of The Stigma!!

The most freeing moment of my life was being able to speak up and and say I need help. 

I am a member of the African American community and especially in our community we struggle with asking for help with mental illness. Also, admitting that we may need help may also be difficult. We some how have to grasp on to the notion that there is power in asking for help. Understand that I am not pointing the finger at anyone. I just want us to get a deeper understanding that there is power in seeking help for mental illness. 

I See Hope!!

In the last 5 years I see that we are making head way with speaking up more about mental health. I have also seen near by towns and college campuses created a stigma free community, to let others know that you are safe from judgment here. This has been a highlight to me, I hope to see more towns, colleges and work places adopted these safe zones for individuals with mental illness. We still have a way to go but I am happy about the progress. I am looking forward to the day when mental health services cost the same as getting a yearly physical exam. Why should mental illness be treated any differently than physical illnesses? I see hope ahead, I wish that everyone can afford the mental health care that they deserve. 

Walk With Me, This Is What I Did

Taking Time To Smell The Roses

I needed time away from the news and away from the house. I needed to decompress and see something else besides the house and my backyard. my family and I visit a local park and walk the trail. It was nice to be outside and be around other people with social distancing of course. The fresh air was amazing, even though we had to wear a mask. I only wore a mask when I was close to others and I simply remove the mask when I was away from others.

exercise has a calming effect on me and a walk was just what the doctor ordered. My children also enjoyed the walk and they asked to go again. At this point we can all use some fresh air and I plan on getting out of the house at least 3 times a week. Some fresh air and exercise puts everyone in a good mood. Here is a picture of me on my walk on the trail.

I Am Going Stir-Crazy In Quarantine!!!!

Yes, I was going stir-crazy staying home everyday in the summer.
We have a pool and other entertainment, but just staying home and nothing else is starting to take a hold on me. I had to get out of the house more often, staying in the house is starting to affect my mental health.

Don't get me wrong! I enjoy relaxing at home, but sometimes I need to get out!

To get over my stir-craziness, my family and I decided to go to mall, we took our children to get some Ice cream. We took all the precautions to keep ourselves safe. We wore masks and sanitize our hands often. I have been trying to keep my family safe from this virus by staying home, however, I have to also remember to take care of my mental health.

It was great to get out and see other people and have a change of scenery. After, my children had Ice cream we did some shopping. Getting out and having a change in scenery is just what I needed. I have to plan more activities l include leaving the house. The world is scary, but I can't stay in a bubble forever. My mental health is just as important as my physical health. As long as I take precautions to keep my family safe that is the most important thing. Looking forward to what adventures the summer holds.

Fighting The Fears Of The Pandemic

Fears Of The Pandemic Is Real!

For the first time in the pandemic I had to visit the local hospital.
Going to the Emergency room, is hard enough and having to go in a pandemic is especially difficult.
I was in otter fear of going to the hospital for any reason because of the pandemic.
like many people, I was in fear of coming in contact with anyone that have the Corona virus.
I have a family member that was in need of medical care, so staying home was not an option.

I was terrified of going to the hospital that is a hot bed for diseases. Having no other options at the moment, I had my mask on and I carried hand sanitizer with me to clean my hands. I was constantly cleaning my hands, my identification cards and my cell phones. Every time I touched something or someone else touched my belongings I made sure I sanitize it. The hospital and doctor's office are two places where I have been dreading. However, I am learning how to take precautions to keep myself and my family safe.

I am proud of myself because I am fighting my fears in order to conduct my business. I won't allow fear to keep me from living. 

Hope Is Not Cancelled!

We are living in cancel culture! everything that people don't like or feel offended by, society is quick to call for the cancellation of it. Well, I submit that in a world of "cancel culture" hope could never be cancelled. Yes, the world seem scary and uncertain right now but there is always hope.

Hope Is Alive In You

Hope can never be cancelled it is the foundation of life. Even though today maybe hard it isn't the end, each day brings new hope. I have hope that this pandemic will soon be over, I also have hope that this civil unrest in our nation will soon come to an end. I have hope that unity will take place in our nation. This may seem like a silly belief to some, but I choose to have hope.

Saying "No" To Cancel Culture

In closing, I will say that we can cancel a lot of things that upset or offend us. However, hope can never be cancelled. We are free to stand up for what we believe in and that is our right. Today, I am standing up for hope. 

Trauma Is Real!

Everyone have different experience that have shaped them in some way. Some experiences may be good while others maybe bad/difficult experiences. All of our experiences are valid and valuable at the same time. We should be careful in discounting someone experiences, because we do not know what it's like to walk in someone else's shoes. Everyone should be safe to talk about their victories as well as their hardships.


The Trauma Of Being Black In America

I am a descendant of black slaves that were kidnapped and brought to Jamaica, West Indies. I am also half Indian. Like many island in the Caribbean we were govern by British laws. After Jamaica won it's independence from Britain we had to fend for ourselves and create a new government. Jamaica began to thrive on tourism, their is a lucky few who are able to make a living of of tourism. While their were others who still struggled. Even though there were a economic struggle in Jamaica, I always felt a strong bond of family around me. I never questioned my identity, everyone was accepting. Skin color was never an issue.

Fast forward, to me at 7 years old and coming to America. The first thing that I noticed was the difference in neighborhood. The Urban community look different than the other affluent neighborhoods. The second thing was the education, I went to struggling schools in the urban community while the schools in the suburbs thrived. Another thing that I learned was what the "hood" were and what the suburbs were. 6th to 12th grade I attended school in a suburban setting. The quality of education that I received in the suburbs, were far more superior than that of any school I attended in the urban community. The urban community struggled to get the funding and resources it needs, while other community had ample resources. The America that I was seeing had a clear line drawn down the middle.

Although, I got a good education in the latter, it was not given without strife in the suburbs. I saw first hand how all the black students were systematically placed in all lower level classes. I also got harassed and got called out of class to be given a letter by the board of education. In this letter I was accused of not living in the school district. The board of education said they would sue and they did random addressed checks in the middle of the night. Officials would come with their flash lights and shine it in my face while I was sleeping.  All of these things I've mentioned happened 3 times, the last time my mother had enough and told the school that she would bring a law suit. Only then did they stop harassing my sisters and I. I also knew other black classmates who experienced the same harassment. The powers that be tried to rob me of my peace and a education simply  because of the color of my skin. I couldn't believe that this was happening to me. In America I was constantly being made to feel like I wasn't good enough, or I didn't belong her. As a child experiencing this at the hands of adults it was shocking. As I approached high school graduation, there was a high school counselor famous for encourage black students to NOT apply to 4 year colleges. It was clear that racism was being used in a systematic way to stop the success of black people. I could go on, but I will stop here.

Black America have gone through so much abuse and trauma inflicted by the powers that be. Stemming from the violence of slavery, segregation, public lynchings, financial systematic racism and police brutality. Not to mention robbing us of our culture. Violence and the deliberate systematic racism has been used to destroy the black family and community for over 400 years. The trauma and the mental health issues that the black community face is unimaginable. We have been tossed aside and made to believe that we are less than everyone else. Then when we try to speak up about the injustice, we are made to believe once again that the injustice is not valid. Mother's are watching their children being beaten to death on the streets, blacks are dying unjustly here in America and that is a fact. I am a mother of 2 black children and I am scared, I have anxiety every time my children leave our home. To quote a civil rights activists The trauma of being black in America is an emergency.

Finding Common Ground

We don't have to agree! However, we must take the time to recognize and validate the pain of black America. Black America needs healing, we can all play a part in the healing of our fellow American. We are all going through our own trauma in life, we cannot walk in someone else's shoes but we can be kind and be slow to past judgement. 

Give The Good Times More Power!

Often times I find that I am very humble when the good things are happening in my life. I rarely talk about them or bring light to them. However, when the bad things are happening I am always talking about it and giving it more attention. Why do I do this?


What Ever You Give Power To, Will Define The Direction Of Life

I did not realize that I was doing this, why should I quiet the good times and make the bad times louder?

I think many times we are all guilty of this, I sometime skip over the good things giving very little recognition to it. However, when It comes to the bad things it's like a dark cloud hanging over me. It changes my mood, affects my day and then becomes bigger than life. I am trying to change this habit in my life, I am being more conscious about enjoying the good moments and making light of it. I have to practice having joy because sometimes joy does not come naturally. The bad times are never here to stay, it is all temporary. I should not allow temporary situations to get the best of me, rather I should let the good times be bigger than everything else.

Bad times are hard but it is not here to stay, it is all temporary. I will keep this in mind and I hope that you will too. Wishing you good health and happiness on your journey to wellness. 

Be Encouraged No Matter What You See

Be encouraged no matter what you see...


We have been fighting the Corona virus for months now, and we have been stuck inside. The sun is shinning and the Corona Virus has been flattening. We are slowly but surely recovering despite of our losses. Those that have lost loved ones, I know that life will never be the same. As the clouds of this pandemic have lifted, It's going to be a new reality for all of us.

We are also facing a racial divide in our country, there are many emotions and fears that we are feeling at this time. The pandemic on one hand and the racial divide on the other. Emotions are running high at this very moment and we are feeling uncertain of the future. Be encouraged, because no matter what is going on in the world we can all do our part. Sometimes doing our part just mean showing kindness to someone. Kindness, can set the tone for your day and also influence someone else's day.

We are all in this together!!!

Even though, I feel so emotional and hurt about what is happening nationally and globally, I am trying to center myself and keep focusing on peace and kindness. Be encouraged no matter what you see, we can make it together. Let love and kindness light the way!

Change Is Not Easy, It's Alright To Feel Your Way Through It!

It is not easy,

Many of us are facing changes in life due to this global pandemic.
Life has we know it is no longer the same, we are quarantined inside our homes and have not seen our loved ones in person. It's nice that we can see loved ones on video call, but it is not the same. In person we can hug and kiss our loved ones. Their is nothing like the embrace of a hug from a loved one. Those days seems like a distant memory, now everyone is scared to be around their extended families. The fear of coming in contact with the COVID-19 is in everyone's mind.

Our entire lifestyle have been thrown out of the window. Many people have also lost loved ones in this global pandemic. You are allowed to feel emotional about all the sudden changes that we have been thrust into.


Feel The Emotions But Don't Stay Down!

Feeling emotional is not a sign of weakness, emotions show our passion and it shows that we care. We have all been emotional this year, this pandemic has changed our lives and have put a dapper on our plans. Especially for those who are sick or have lost a loved one. Also, the uncertainty of the future, not to mention all the students across the nation that have been thrust into home school and then those who were robbed of a prom and graduation. It has been a hard road for us all but we are still standing. We can rise above our hurt and look towards a brighter day. We can find strength in our sorrow! We are all in this together and we can make it through this. We are going through a great hurt right now but we don't have to stay down forever. We can rise from this! 

You Are Not Alone

We are never alone even when we feel like we are!
We need each other like never before!

You are not alone in this.
Though we are in our own homes, we are never alone.
There is always someone out there that understand what you are going through.
You can reach out to check on someone or call someone to talk about your feelings.

I call my sister or send them a text to see how they are doing and to talk about how I am doing. Although I can't see them it feels good to check in and talk. I also check on my mother and my mother in law, it feels good to hear their voices. It is so great that we can encourage each other during this difficult time. I keep in contact with others through social media, we are each others biggest supporters and we are in this together.

I also have a video call with a family therapist once a week, to keep up with working on my personal goals and family goals. We are all trying to do our best during this global crisis. Your best is good enough, we are in this together. 

Living In Extended Quarantine

In New Jersey Quarantine has been extended until June 5th.
By order of our Governor, we will be at home for another month.
I am trying not to focus on quarantine and instead focus on staying healthy.
It's not easy to stay focus when I hear about so many people who have lost their lives in this pandemic.
There are also so many people who are sick with COVID-19.
It has been heart breaking to hear about people who have passed away in my church community.
I am trying to stay positive in such a sad time.

My family is my motivation to stay healthy and calm during such a difficult time. I am trying to stay healthy and keep my family healthy as well. My family and I take our vitamins and we use the treadmill for exercise. We have family game night and movie night as a healthy activity and distraction from what is going on with this pandemic. I also do my part to check on my extended family, I am thankful that my extended family is safe and healthy as well. We are all in this together and we will get through this together.

This pandemic has taught me that health is wealth, we have nothing if we don't have good health. This is motivating me to focus more on my health goals. I am praying and hoping that we all make it through this difficult time stronger together. 

What's In Your Tool Box???

Do you have a tool box!?

Well, I do ✋✋✋✋✋✋

Let me tell you all about it. When I say tool box I am not talking about an actual tool box where I keep a wrench or a screw driver. I am talking about a tool box that I use for physical, emotional, mental and spiritual wellness. My tool box contains tools that will help me achieve wellness. Here are the contents of my tool box:

1. Music- I listen to music to help change my mood. I listen to gospel music and worship when I an feeling anxious or scared. Gospel music help me to feel calm and hopeful. I also listen to R&B music when I want to dance, dancing bring joy and laughter into my life.

2. Scriptures & Quotes- I try to meditate on positive and encouraging words, I get that from reading Bible scriptures and reading positive quotes. Scriptures and positive quotes brings peace to me mind.

3. Exercise- Exercise is not only good for my body but the endorphins from the exercise gives me a rush of adrenaline. Exercising makes me feel healthy and happy.

4. Writing- Writing is my gift but it is also my therapy. Writing has been a source of inspiration and a source of peace for me. Writing gives me a voice in this world, it is my outlet away from the business of life. Writing is my happy place and my passion.

5. Volunteering- Helping others have truly helped me to heal. Even though I am going through a rough time in my life, I have found power and purpose in helping others.

6. Nature- I am surrounded by beautiful plants and flowers and that brings me joy. I am not really an big outdoor person especially when it comes to bugs and wildlife. However, I do enjoy looking at beautiful plants and flowers. Most of all, I like to smell the fresh air while the wind blows through my hair. It's always great to take a walk and a beautiful day. Fresh air is really good for my soul.

7. Prayer & Fasting- I am a spiritual person so for me prayer and fasting is important. I believe that through prayer and fasting I can gain strength and wisdom. I seek God for spiritual strength and wisdom that will help give me perseverance.


What's In Your Tool Box?

I Escaped Quarantine To Do This!

Yes, I escaped quarantine!!!!!!

😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃


It was nice to be in the cool breeze this weekend. It was about 65 degrees sunny and the cool breeze was blowing through my hair. It was the perfect day to be outside and do some yard work. The landscapers came by early morning, to take down a few trees and make my garden bed. I got to do the fun part which is planting flowers. Here are a few pictures of my garden bed.

I really enjoyed being outside, it was so much fun I almost forgot that I was in quarantine. I was quickly reminded that I was in quarantine when I saw someone walking their dog. I was a little cautious keeping a safe distance and wearing a mask. All and all it was a great day. It's amazing how the fresh air can make me feel so refreshed. 

Sick of Quarantine!

I know that you are sick of quarantine just like I am!


😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐


The Downside

The down side of quarantine is not being able to go to the park. This time of year my family and I would be at the cherry blossom festival in our town. We are "park people", we enjoy taking family walks and visiting different parks. My family and I also like to do window shopping at the mall. My family and I not being able to go to church to celebrate Easter was difficult. Not being able to see family and friends has also been difficult. Most of us are facing unemployment during this global pandemic. Let's not forget the essential workers who are scared, because they are risking their lives everyday by going to work. My husband is among those essential workers and I worry about him. Everyone is facing some hardships during this pandemic, our lives have changed over night and we are all feeling the pressure. Remember, We are living in a collective traumatic experience you are not alone. If you are going through hardships right now, your concerns are understandable. Perseverance is the key in these difficult times.

The Upside

The upside of quarantine, is that we have gotten closer as a global community. We are all in this together and we have rallied together with the hashtags and encouragement. There has been a lot of positive and uplifting messages exchanged virtually. There are many volunteers out in the community helping other in need. We are rallying together as one community, we are leading with compassion.  During this time I feel safe at home with my children. We have gotten closer as a family being home, we have family game night and other activities. We try to keep a routine as much as possible, but leave plenty of room to be keep things simple. Laughter is oh so important for us during these uncertain times. We are going to keep the positive vibes as much as we can. Wishing you happiness good health and happiness! 

In Rough Times You May Feel Like This

I am the worst at staying in contact with friends and sometimes even family members.

When I am going through a rough patch my first instinct is to retreat. When I am going through struggles I want to hide and go into protective mode. I feel like I have to protect myself from everything and everyone. I suppose there is nothing wrong with having my own space to reflect, sometimes solitude is best for working things through. However, I think that I can take things to the extreme, where months and years go by without me seeing or taking to a friend. I sometimes take retreating to the extreme and before I know it time has passed and a friendship has been lost. I don't miss the negative friendships, but I have had some awesome friendships that have passed me by. I wish I could get the time back I would have stayed in touch, I would have leaned more on the kindness of my friends instead of hiding. I had a close friend in high school and throughout college, we were the best of friends. We knew each other families very well, we sang together, we went to school together, we prayed together and we went to church together. She was a very positive force within my life, we were there for each other. When I faced a lot hardship in my life I found it easier just to be alone and withdraw from everyone. At this time I was not living in my truth, and I was ashamed of my struggles, essentially I was afraid of being judged for my struggles.

Finding My Way Back

It wasn't until years later that my friend and I reconnected. At this time we were both adults with husbands and children. A lot of time had passed but luckily we still had a friendship. Even though we are not as close as we once were, we still care for each other. Now that I was living in my truth and not being ashamed of my struggles, I could finally be myself. I reconnected with my friend only to find out that she understood my struggles and she had no judgement towards me. Not only did she not pass judgment, she had great compassion towards me and turned out to be one of my biggest supporters on my journey towards healing. I say this to make the point that, sometimes we want to run and hide from everyone when we are are going through a rough time. However, there are people in our lives that really care for us, we are never alone even when we think we are. There is a season for everything, there is a season of self reflection alone, and then there is a season to reach out for help. Maybe a friend can help, clergy can help, a support group can help or a therapist can help. We are never truly alone!

Finding It Hard To Focus During The Global Pandemic!

I want to start off by saying it is natural to feel worried and scared during such uncertain times.
Every morning that I wake up I feel like it's just a regular morning and I am ready to start my day. Only to quickly remember that it isn't just a regular morning, it is another morning of a global pandemic. Staying inside is now the norm, wearing masks and gloves when going outside is the norm, constantly washing my hands is now the norm and staying 6 feet apart from another person is now the norm. Every time we turn on the news there is more bad news about the pandemic. The number of people with Corona virus is rising my the minute and the number of fatalities also keeps rising. Not to mention, all the conspiracy theories that is all over the internet about what caused the Corona Virus. The global pandemic is always on my mind, and it is hard to focus on anything else. The world has changed within the blink of an eye. These are scary times that we live in; while it's natural to feel scared and worried we cannot allow this feelings to over power us.

Taking My Happiness Back!

I am tired of feeling beat down from the constant bad news that the media so happily reminded us about every second of the day. While I would like to stay informed about what is happening in the world, sometimes is all seems like too much information. How much is too much? My sanity is seriously at stake here, depression and anxiety is real, and I need to protect my mental health. I need to create a place of safety around me and protect my peace. I am ready to take my happiness back!

Unplug And Reset!
It is my responsibility to unplug and give myself some breathing room. I  can only take the news in small doses, I tune in just enough to stay informed. Other than than that I have to unplug and do other positive activities. When I unplug for that period of time I am not watching the news or reading articles about the pandemic. I try not to get obsessed with the news because this can lead to paranoia. Life goes on and there are other things going on in my life besides the pandemic. Although, the Corona Virus is important it is only one aspect of my life not the entirety. My feelings and emotions are connected to whatever I make important in my life. When I unplug for a little while it help me to reset. I reset by writing, listening to music, reading, praying, spending time with family or by watching a movie. Resetting is a fresh start, when I have a fresh start I have enough emotional and mental strength to tune back into the news and current events. This is life for me during this global pandemic.

Staying Connected In #Stayhome and Social Distancing Culture

In this new culture due to the Corona virus outbreak we may find ourselves disconnected from the world. Many of us are staying home from work and practicing social distancing. This is the right thing to do to keep ourselves safe. However, social distancing does not mean isolation. The Therapist office and your support group maybe closed but there are many virtual services that are available. Mental health is important and there is help during this difficult time.

CALL SOMEONE!!!!               

Staying connected to friends and family is very important for metal wellness. Because of technology we can stay connected. We do not have to be alone in isolation, we all need to talk to someone. It is important to check on one another during this difficult time. There are so many ways to stay connected while practicing social distancing. There are also many social media groups that you can join to engage with like minded people. Social distancing does not mean isolation! 

It's alright if you are not very knowledgeable about technology, call a friend or a family member that can help you navigate the internet. This is not a time to be alone and discouraged, we are all in this together, call someone and stay connected. 

I have been staying connected by calling and texting family members. It is never a good idea to accept visitors to my home during this time, but I am comfortable being virtually connected. I have also been connecting with people who love music like I do. I have been following a live DJ on social media enjoying the music and interacting virtually with others who also enjoy music. I have also joined my church virtually to stay connected to my church community. I also walk my dog to get some fresh air and exercise while practicing social distancing. This is a new culture and atmosphere that we are living in but I believe that we will come back stronger from this. 

STAY CONNECTED!!!!

THANK YOU TO THE HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS AND ESSENTIAL EMPLOYEES, WE APPRECIATE YOU!!!

Faith Over Fear

There are plenty of fear going around, especially in these uncertain times.
The world seem uncertain and anything can happen at anytime.
We are surrounded by news happening everyday,
 some good and some not so good. It is good to stay plugged in to know what's happening around us, at the same time it is good to unplug and take a breath of fresh air. Everything has to be done in moderation or we can put our mental health at risk.



Knowing When To Unplug Matters!            Know When To Plug In Matters!



Inviting In  Faith!

It's a lot of scary stuff out there!
We may not know what tomorrow will bring but faith can give us hope.
Faith enlarges our vision to see beyond our current circumstances.
Faith calms the storm, gives strength and perseverance for the journey.
We can either make our faith bigger or make our fear bigger.
The beautiful thing about life is that we get to choose the path that we will take.
What will we make the head of our lives?
Somethings are out of our control and those things we will have to make peace with.
However, we can choose our reaction and our attitude.
Our reaction and attitude is everything!
Some of us may be going though illnesses, death of a loved one, a broken relationship, uncertainty about the future or trauma. Whatever the situation it's never too late to turn things around.
We can turn it around by giving into faith and rejecting fear.
Baby steps is totally fine, as long as we are moving forward that's what matters.

Kicking Out Fear!

Fear is so draining and it keep us in stagnancy.
Fear's main purpose is to keep progress from taking place.
How does fear prevent progress?
It's simple!
When we give into fear, we are consumed with spending our time worrying, crying, depressed and filled with anxiety. At this point we are at a standstill, and very little progress takes place.
Fear is like a consuming fire but faith have the power to turn things around.
Let's kick out fear!

Relapses do happen, don't be hard on yourself, reset and keep moving forward.

It's been about 10 years since I have experience chronic depression, however there have been a few times since then that I have gone through a mild depression.

Life is filled with many twists and turns, there is bound to be some difficulty along the way.
seasonal changes, diet, illnesses and stress may also play a part in my mood changes. There are a lot of factors to consider that may affect my mood. I am trying to live a balanced life to be a healthier me, everything is a journey. I use to believe that happiness was a destination but I have come to realize that happiness is a journey. Everyday I have to work on me and I will always be a work in progress. As long as I am alive I have to nurture myself daily. Set backs do happen, and when they do, I have to dig down deep and reset and keep moving forward.

It takes courage and strength to move forward even in the darkest of times.
Setbacks are not here to stay, it's just a sign that it's time to readjust and reset.
There is no shame in starting over!
Pick yourself up, reset and keep moving forward.

Magnify The Good Times And Make The Bad Times Small

Remembering The Good Times


I recently came across some childhood pictures of myself

These pictures instantly took me back to that memory. In this particular picture I was wearing a black sweater with silver sparkles. That sweater was my favorite sweater, I remembered how good it made me feel to put on that sweater. I also remembered my cousin had the same sweater. The second picture was of me and my cousin, we were wearing the same robe only in different colors. I was about 8 years old in both of the pictures. This was more than just about the clothes we were wearing in the pictures. The picture made me remember how happy I was at the time, and how close my cousin and I were. Were we like sisters rather than cousins, and we always dressed alike. Also, at this time I was away from my mother and America was my new home, my aunt made me feel at home here. My aunt treated like I was also her daughter that made me feel good. It's funny how a picture brought all of this back to m memory. The abuse that I experienced later in my life caused me to loose sight of the good times. After the sexual assault at 12 years old, I viewed the world differently, and suddenly nothing else mattered.


Make The Bad Times Small

What ever we magnify in our lives is what will determine the direction of our lives. Most of my life I magnified the abuse and the neglect that I went through as child. As a result the depression and hurt took control of my life and before I knew it I found myself stuck in a dark place. I lost time that I can never get back and I lost sight of all the good memories that I shared with my loved ones. I was blinded  by my pain causing me to have tunnel vision to only seeing the bad times. This is what happens when the bad times become magnified, it take root and begin to contaminate everything around it. The bad times don't deserve to be magnified, instead we can fight it with therapy, support groups or with prescribe medication. There is hope!


Magnify The Good Times

I found power in magnifying the good times. The good times is tangible proof that life is beautiful and filled with wonder and joy. There are so many joys and excitement that I have experienced in my lifetime. In the bad times I have to remember that whatever I am going through is only temporary. The bad times is not here to stay it is just a moment and just a season that I am going through. I never want to be at a place in my life again where I allow the bad times to be magnified in my life. I am still on my journey of healing and life is not perfect but I have a lot to be thankful for. I will magnify the good in my life and make the bad times small as I work through it. Whatever I want in my life that is what I will magnify.

I Am Enough!

I am still learning this!

I have goals for my life and I am still a work in progress.
I am making peace with the fact that I can be strong and a wok in progress at the same time.
There is no such thing as perfect and I will never get to a place where I feel like I've arrived. I don't think that perfection is a destination. My goal is to be happy, whole and flourishing in my life. This goal that I am trying to achieve is not a place or destination but it is a lifestyle.

I am trying to achieve total wellness and freedom in my life.
I am enough with all of my flaws!
I am enough with my flawed past!
I am enough with my unique skill sets!

There is enough room for everyone in this world!!!

That Toxic Relationship Is Gone! Now What?

My last blog I spoke about the first step of achieving self love. 

The most important first step of letting go of toxic relationship. 

Toxic relationships are a hindrance to self growth.

Also a strong support system is key to self love and self discovery. 

SELF DISCOVERY!!!!

Self discovery and self growth can happen flourish when we are being kind to ourselves.

Yes!!!!  Kindness matters!

I found that I began to be kind to myself I started to thrive in my life. Nothing happens over night, it takes real work to grow and thrive. I spend so much time trying to be seen and validated by others, that quest only lead me to a dead end. I only began to thrive in my life when I started to be kind to myself and validate myself. I needed to love myself and I could not depend on anyone else to do that. My toxic mindset is something that only I can change, it is my responsibility to treat myself well. I am still on a journey of self discovery and self growth, I am banking on myself because I am worth it. 

DON'T UNDERRATE THE POWER OF SELF LOVE!

Self-Love is oh so powerful!!!

On my healing path and in my evolution of growth I have seen how self love changed my life.


I was in such a broken place before I started my healing journey. My self-esteem and my overall self worth was very low. The truth is I did not love myself, wow! I can't believe I said that out loud. It's the raw and honest truth. The trauma that I experienced in my childhood had taught me that I wasn't worth much. sadly, I believed that I was unloved and not worthy of being loved.  As a result of this I allowed people to treat me badly. I was already a hurt person and over the years I discovered that people would continue to hurt me. I couldn't not understand why this was happening to me.


        💡💡A LIGHT BULB WENT ON💡💡


The journey to self love isn't as easy as turning a light bulb on but for me it was a light bulb moment. I had to learn to love me flaws and all. After fighting against insecurities and pass hurts I finally decided to give myself a chance. I felt exhausted from toiling with my hurts, it was time for a change. I had to release myself from toxic relationships and toxic people. It was not as easy as that, especially when some of the toxic people are family members. Some of those toxic people did not take kindly to me distancing myself from them. Toxic people don't want you to get out of their presence, they want to be close to you so that they can influence your life. You will know exactly who they are, once you start to achieve self-love in your life, that toxic person will be the person telling you this: "you have changed, you don't hang out with me anymore" letting go of toxic relationships is the first step to self love.


               A CHANGE HAS COME

It was and still is hard to let go of my old way of thinking, but I chose to embrace who I am with all my flaws. I love me! I see that when I began to love on myself, people also began to treat me with respect. The way I treat myself is a clear and unspoken boundary of how I expect others to treat me. The power of self love should not be underrated. When you are radiating confidence and self love people will follow your example. Although, there is no guarantee that everyone will like me, I know my self worth and I won't allow toxic people to influence how I feel about myself. Wishing you good health and happiness always.

                                                                   Cassie 

I Finally Admit It!!!!!

I admit that I struggle with anxiety!

There, I admit it!!!

This is my first time ever saying this publicly that I struggle with anxiety.

Yes, I feel anxious about the simplest things. Going to the store, doctor appointment, PTA meeting, 

public speaking etc... Whatever it is I feel anxious about actually doing it.

Anxiety also make me feel unmotivated to do certain things. What it all boils down to is feeling fearful of doing the activity, and having to go through the elevated symptoms of anxiety. In the past I used avoidance as a coping mechanism, because lets face it who wants to feel anxious. I've gotten to the point in my life where avoidance no longer serves me. I have a desire to grow and that means being a little uncomfortable. 

CAUTION  BEING UNCOMFORTABLE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE!!! 

We are all at different Phases in our lives and that is alright!

Walk your own path!

Whatever works for you is for you, I am just speaking about where I am today in my life.

I like to push myself because I don't want to get stuck in my fears. 

I am an introvert and I also have anxiety, so I have to push myself extra hard to get going.

It is not easy and I do have to do my breathing exercises, self affirmation and prayer. Whatever I have to do to get going that is what I do. 

I hate feeling stuck!!!!!!!!!!

Feeling stuck is not for me, I still feel anxious doing a lot of things but I do it anyway.

I hate for anxiety to feel like it has a hold on me. 

My journey continues and I will continue to do what anxiety tells me I cannot do. 

Feeling Safe To Be Yourself

Everyone want to be loved and accepted!



It's hard enough growing, learning and making transitions in life, the last thing we need is others judging and picking us apart. People can be mean and not accepting, that can make being yourself pretty hard. People always say be yourself, but then they judge you for being yourself. I say no thank you to mixed signals! Sometimes we are also our biggest critics, we pick ourselves apart until we get to a low self-esteem.




                                                           
                                             AUTHENTIC SELF


Many of us have entertained the notion that if we change or conform people would accept us. I don't know about anyone else, but pretending to be someone else is exhausting. There is enough going on in life, who has time for keeping up an act. True happiness cannot truly be achieved when NOT living in one's truth and being authentic. 


                                              FEELING SAFE


Places and people matter!
Safety is an important factor in achieving self-worth. Often, we are trying to fit into places and with people who are not for us. Safe places is a space where we feel honored and encouraged to be our best self. People who are patient, compassionate, loving and empathetic help enhance our lives. There is no need to stress or pretend to be someone we are not. Although, we cannot live in a bubble away from the rest of the world, having the right support system will help us grow. Experiencing growth will help us handle the day to day stress of the world. There is safety and peace in being ourselves.


                                                               _ Cassie 

Surviving The Wait!

There is always an open door but timing is everything!
Waiting is the hardest part of any process. Especially, when we are talking about healing the wait can seem never ending. Being hopeful in time of crisis and despair is by far the hardest thing that I have ever experienced. Being hopeful in the time of crisis is not a piece of cake. When I was struggling, in some of my darkest times I felt like I was being consumed by my situation. The Isolation, loneliness and the sadness was so deafening I felt like I was drowning in my pain. Do you know what it is like to feel like this? Waiting is hard but I found helpful tools to help me survive the wait.



Digging Myself Out Of Despair

I knew that I could not continue to live like this, I need to make a change in my life.
I decided to take "baby steps" because after all I can't solve everything in one day.
The first thing that I worked on was my thinking, I wanted to replace my negative thoughts with positive ones. I had to be intentional in seeking positive thoughts, I did this by filtering positive messages into my mind. I used music, quotes and scriptures as a tool to change my thinking. This was not a quick fix it was years of reconditioning myself to think positively, repetition is definitely the key to success. This was the beginning of a new journey for me.


Joy For The Journey

Joy is a wonderful feeling that helps to lighten up the load on the journey.
It's hard to find joy in pain, but I found that it is better to wait in joy than to wait in pain. I know that everyday is not going to be a great day, and that is totally fine. I am not oblivious to the fact that some days will suck and I will feel sadness. However, I make the decision to pick myself up and not allow  the pain to take root. I feel like the moment that I start to feel sorry for myself is when despair will try to take root. I have no more room in my life for sadness and despair, therefore, when possible I try to wait in joy. I try to laugh more and smile more, sometimes I have to force myself to feel joy. If I have to watch a funny movie or a funny video then that's what I'll do. I try to remember I don't have to consume myself with the seriousness of life. I can take joy with me for the journey.


Cassie

Helping Others Help You To Heal!

I never would have thought in a million years that helping others would help me to heal. 

How could I help others when I feel so hurt and wounded?

This was the question I asked myself. I felt so unmotivated to get out of bed so how could I find the motivation to help others?

It was hard at first but I decided to give it a try. First of all it was not at all easy to make the first step toward this goal. The first step is always the hardest step, but I know that I had to make a change and try something different. I did not want to keep on the same path of feeling sorry for myself, because that was getting me no where. 

Baby Steps!                                          Baby Steps!                                         Baby Steps!

I researched to find out what type of volunteer work opportunities were in my community. I found out that there was a mobile means program in my community. I completed the registration online and committed myself to volunteering on Mondays. Registering online is one thing but actually going is a totally different thing. I was nervous about going and anxiety started to set in, this was definitely out of the box for me. I have been an extreme introvert all of my life so this was out of my comfort zone.  All I needed to do was take one more baby step out of my comfort zone. 

 One More Baby Step!                         
 One More Baby Step!         
 One More Baby Step! 

On the Monday of my first day I was nervous I just did not know what to expect. I pushed myself fighting my way through anxiety and fear. Finally, I arrived to my first day of volunteering with the mobile meals program in my community. I met the individuals in charge of the program and I also met other volunteers. I must say that they were very polite and very welcoming, I felt at ease and I was ready to help my community. My first day I helped in giving groceries to families that were in need. It was awesome to take part in helping  people in need, It made me feel good to help others. I did not have time to feel sad about my circumstances, because I was too busy feeling good about helping others. This was a healthy distraction for me and it was just what I needed. I found my niche, and it was then that I realized that helping others could help me to help. 

Since then I have helped others through different types of volunteer work in my community. I discovered that helping others is a "tool" to achieve healing in my own life. Volunteering has taught me a lot about being kind and having gratitude. Helping others have also help me to be more focused on the present and to be hopeful for the future. My circumstances may not be perfect but I am a work in progress. I am thankful for the present and I try not to dwell on past hurts. Helping others was a pathway to healing for me. 

Peace and Happiness Is The New Wealth!

I have been on this healing journey for a little while now 11 years to be exact.
I've learned a lot along the way, most of what I have learned is through some very tough circumstances. I still have more to heal and more to learn and I am embracing the process. As I mature and gain more wisdom from life lessons I start to see the things that really matter. When you grow up with very little material things like I have, it is easy to give into the thought that if I have more material things I will be happy. The truth is that material things are great and it have it's purpose. Having abundance does make it easier to move around and navigate through the world. However, I realized that it's always going to be something bigger and better and the quest for acquiring things will never end. No one wants to struggle to make ends meet and I am totally in agreement with striving higher for goals that will help me take better care of my family. When it comes to peace and happiness money cannot attain those things.


Peace and happiness is the new wealth. It cannot be captured in a bottle, it can only be felt in my heart. Happiness can be shown in my smile and my laughter. I can feel peace and happiness in the warmth of a hug from my loved ones. I can embody peace and happiness knowing that I am loved, valued and safe. I embody peace and happiness, from the love that I feel knowing that God loves me and he took the time to create me. Peace and happiness is truly the new wealth that I chase after, everything else is a added bonus!