In Rough Times You May Feel Like This

I am the worst at staying in contact with friends and sometimes even family members.

When I am going through a rough patch my first instinct is to retreat. When I am going through struggles I want to hide and go into protective mode. I feel like I have to protect myself from everything and everyone. I suppose there is nothing wrong with having my own space to reflect, sometimes solitude is best for working things through. However, I think that I can take things to the extreme, where months and years go by without me seeing or taking to a friend. I sometimes take retreating to the extreme and before I know it time has passed and a friendship has been lost. I don't miss the negative friendships, but I have had some awesome friendships that have passed me by. I wish I could get the time back I would have stayed in touch, I would have leaned more on the kindness of my friends instead of hiding. I had a close friend in high school and throughout college, we were the best of friends. We knew each other families very well, we sang together, we went to school together, we prayed together and we went to church together. She was a very positive force within my life, we were there for each other. When I faced a lot hardship in my life I found it easier just to be alone and withdraw from everyone. At this time I was not living in my truth, and I was ashamed of my struggles, essentially I was afraid of being judged for my struggles.

Finding My Way Back

It wasn't until years later that my friend and I reconnected. At this time we were both adults with husbands and children. A lot of time had passed but luckily we still had a friendship. Even though we are not as close as we once were, we still care for each other. Now that I was living in my truth and not being ashamed of my struggles, I could finally be myself. I reconnected with my friend only to find out that she understood my struggles and she had no judgement towards me. Not only did she not pass judgment, she had great compassion towards me and turned out to be one of my biggest supporters on my journey towards healing. I say this to make the point that, sometimes we want to run and hide from everyone when we are are going through a rough time. However, there are people in our lives that really care for us, we are never alone even when we think we are. There is a season for everything, there is a season of self reflection alone, and then there is a season to reach out for help. Maybe a friend can help, clergy can help, a support group can help or a therapist can help. We are never truly alone!